Jacksonville Marriage Counseling Encouragement #6

Some things are just better left unsaid. Somethings need to be said very tenderly. Maybe while touching. With a steak in front of you. Or better yet, a steak just consumed. And wine. Most things should be thought about before spoken… and yet some of us (points at self) have a very difficult time with this rule.

Our generation grew up in a culture that told us to speak up, lean in and be heard. I think it is mind boggling to consider not all battles need to be fought. Sometimes you can let others fold the underwear, let the cookies be eaten, and let the baby be cared for in a way that is different than what you would have done.

When you have very difficult things that need to be said… maybe a confession of sin or a decision that you know will hurt your spouse, you could consider bringing in trusted advisors to help you speak with gentleness and out of a place of love. Counselors also are great for bouncing confidential information off of. There is something to be said for “say what you need to say” culture (see what I did there?), but for those of us who have to work at filtering, journaling or going to therapy can be a great place to dump and organize so your marriage does not bear the burden of careless words. Be prayerful and carefully choose your words for the next interaction with your spouse and love well.

How to express yourself well this weekend:

1.Think before you speak. //A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word! Proverbs 15:23

2. Not everything you are feeling needs to be expressed. //When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wide. Proverbs 10:19

3. Ask to make sure you are being understood.

4. Speak in a way that encourages. //Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that is may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

A Counselor at a Marriage Conference- Lesson 6
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