God’s game plan is to put God first, then your husband and then your children.
Our biggest take away from this is that children find their stability and ultimate firm identity in the steady love between their parents. We were new parents, totally devoted to our little chicklette, but we have definitely kissed and hugged more with this wisdom in mind. We set date nights and fight the mommy guilt so that we can a foster a strong marriage that our children can grow to depend on. Our goal is to have a relationship with things we enjoy to do together when our children turn 18 and move away from home, leaving us to each other. Our prayer is that they will know we loved each other until our last days. That we will be an example. That kind of thing would not happen if we did not put tons of effort into growing together and beyond our children.
This includes being careful about using our daughter as a diffuser. When we are angry or irritated with each other, it is very easy to be amiable by switching the conversation to something “so cute” that our daughter did that day, or just playing with her together, but this is avoidant of whatever conflict or angst that may be between us. We have to be intentional to confront our issues and communicate through them so that when our beloved buffer is absent, we can still endure conflict. It all starts with accepting that God has a game plan for a reason. Our children are gifts to us and our marriage is our gift to them.