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Here is a big dose of transparency. I shared this (or something similar) with my mom recently and she was shocked at my revelation of *badness* without going into tons of details- she asked- “sheesh! What did you do??” And I worry you may think the same thing. I am not perfect, I’ve got major blemishes in my past, but I am not so much talking about what I have done as what I know now that I am capable of doing. I love my husband dearly and hate that I have the capability of hurting him deeply if I am not very careful and diligent.

“Do not be deceived. God is not mocked.”

This is a quote from the conference that I jotted down because it spoke to my gut-the innermost part of myself that does whatever the heck she wants when she thinks no one is looking. Now, I am transparent about this part of myself (that can think that I am above any rule) and am aware that very few people are like me. Truly, I think this personality charactersic is a gift because it really helps me break through barriers and push past fear … and help others! But it needs to be watched. Carefully.

And I coupled the quote with an image of a phone to speak to the many temptations there (wasting time, Facebook stalking, lusting over beautiful homes and the perfect body, too-quick-to-think-about-and-gone-too-quick-to-worry- about-it communication platforms… and the list goes on to include pornography, adulterous relationships, and gossip).

Your phone may have a lock on it, but God is not mocked. Your husband may not know of your deceitfulness, but God is not mocked. Marriage is not about looking good for your husband or for your church friends. It is about transparency and hard work…. selfless love and service. Just a reminder that there is no such thing as no one watching… and it is for our protection! Note to me and to you, my friends: Embrace the gentle reminders to remain faithful and focused on becoming one with your husband, not isolating and escaping. 


If you are like me and have the sneaky gene, I encourage you to ask a close friend to ask you the hard questions. You are going to have more success being faithful with your time and heart if you are held accountable. A wonderful place to find accountability is in a counseling relationship. You can also seek this out in a small group or close friendship. Prayers and encouragement that even when we are unfaithful, God is faithful because he cannot go against who he is and he stands on your defense… and makes his righteousness your righteousness so you can be right with God. 

A Counselor at a Marriage Conference- Lesson 15
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